CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

• External imperatives
• Gain control
• Advancement
• Solve problems

Conventional views of impact: WHAT THE WORLD WANTS

When we think of having an impact, we usualy think of doing something to satisfy the needs and requirements of the places where we live and work. We seek impacts that solve problems, remove threats, and advance the current status of what we know and know how to do. Asset-Based Thinkning builds on this conventional wisdom by showing you how to connect what you want to make happen to what the wider world needs from you.

ABT INSIGHTS

• Internal imperatives
• Lose control
• Fulfillment
• Seize opportunities

ABT perspectives on impact: WHAT I WANT TO MAKE HAPPEN

ABT impact starts with setting your sights on the results you want to make happen – on the visions that inspire and motivate you most. Generating personally meaningful visions to pursue helps you prioritize external demands and determine how you will respond to them. With ABT you also connect each of your personal visions to the mighty cause you feel born to serve. This dual focus creates momentum and a whole host of unexpected, beneficial outcomes.

THIS IS YOUR TIME. CLAIM IT!

Making an impact is rooted in what you were born to do. Your impact comes to life at the intersection of your present actions and the furture you want to create. Impact comes in all shapes and sizes. Your impact may be starting a business, changing a law, raising teenagers, or reducing crime or illiteracy. Many people have multiple agendas. Most of us are attracted to more than one mighty cause in the course of a life time.

Regardless of how broad or narrow your agenda, how many or how few your desires, the Asset-Based Thinking approach to making an impact is the same. The impact you seek in your outer world must be fueled by the assets of passion and purpose from your inner world. When the imperatives of your outer world and inner world intersect, you know that it it “your time.” You are ready, willing and able to “claim it,” own it, and run with it.

Your Signature Impact

Two key ABT Impact Perspectives will help you achieve the future you deserve and increase the odds that your Signature Impact will make a difference. Reflect on each – then move forward with purpose and passion.

ABT Impact Perspective #1: People Trump Process and Procedures

Impact means moving from the current reality to the future reality you desire. Being clear and specific about the future you seek and how it is better than the present is essential. When you think “impact” think “change.”

Describe the changes in beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors required of you and those you intend to impact. This mind’s eye comparison creates a magnetic pull mechanism that propels you and others forward. You reach your destination in less time with energy to spare.

ABT Impact Perspective #2: Your Enthusiasm Inspires Others to Passionate Action

The bigger the impact you seek, the bigger the shared effort that is required. Your ultimate impact is in direct proportion to the magnetic pull of your enthusiasm and passion for your mighty cause.

Enthusiasm sustains you (and others) during the ups and downs. Enthusiasm fuels determination and creativity and sparks hope and resilience. Best of all, it’s contagious.

Don’t make the mistake of going it alone. Build an enthusiastic core of positive conspirators from the very beginning. You can’t miss.

MAKE DESIRE MORE IMPORTANT THAN FEAR

Recent findings in health care research show that fear of death does not motivate human beings to sustain healthier lifestyles. Even hear attack survivors will not change their lifestyle (e.g., stop smoking, start exercising, lose weight) when told they will die if they don’t. Attention-getting scare tactics and fear of dying motivate only for a while – on the order of 90 days. Why? it turns out that the fear of death becomes so overwhelming that we put it out of our minds. And when we keep waking up in the morning, even when we didn’t exercise the day before, the motivating power of fear diminishes.

Research confirms that when it comes to forming healthier lifestyle habits people respond to the potential rewards. The promise of achieving more energy, a better sex life, and increased happiness is what fuels sustainable changes in behaviors.

ABT AXIOM: Focus on what you want (not avoididng what you don’t want). Desire-driven goals stimulate motivation, build enthusiasm, and ignite the passion you need to define and achieve the future you most desire.

BE COMMITTED

Your skin in the Game

When you pursue your mighty cause and peronal visions it’s natural to want to be in charge. After all, it’s your vision! Instinctively you want to hold yourself 100% responsible and accountable. With that much skin in the game, it is tempting to want control over all the variables.

Control V.S Commitment

Striving for control is tempting, yet ultimately defeating. Instead of being in constant control, concentrate on being steadfast committed. Then you gain ground either by being in the driver’s seat or by giving someone else the wheel.

Positive Paradox

Think of the path to your future as a dance between who and what is in charge. Sometimes you take the lead over opposing forces – sometimes those opposing forces lead you. On your adventure, you can be sure that you will encounter opposing forces… ABT prepares you to make the most of them. And don’t forget that you will meet positive forces along the way. ABT helps you let go so those forces propel you forward.

BEAT THE ODDS… CHANGE THE GAME

Bigger Challenge = Bigger Impact

Beating the odds means succeeding despite the fact that the probability of winning is low. When this happens, you change the rules of the game.

Being powerful and influential enough to “change the game” in any arena of life is intoxicating and exciting. Especially if your aims connect to wider-world benefits. It just doesn’t get any better than that:

• Your confidence and courage grow
• Your gratitude expands
• Your know-how moves to the next levels

Role Models

Lance Armstrong beat the odds by triumphing over cancer and used that as his driving force to change the sport of cycling forever. “Live Strong” is a mantra and a movement. Seven consecutive Tour de France yellow jerseys form an amazing record that provides others with hope and inspiration. 

Starbucks beat the odds that people would actually pay $3.00 for a cup of coffee and changed the game in the coffee business. A neighborhood gathering place with a premium coffee experience is now the standard for the industry. 

 In 2005, Australian physicians Robin Warren and Barry Marshal were awarded the Nobel Prize in medicine for discovering that stomach ulcers are caused by a strain of bacteria. Warren and Marshal fought for years to override the prevailing theory that ulcers were caused by excess stomach acids. Thanks to their game-changing beliefs, antibiotics have replaced unnecessary surgery in the treatment of ulcers.

TRADE ENRAGED FOR ENGAGED

The devastation of 9/11 will long be remembered. What also lives on in our memories are the remarkable acts of leadership and recovery aftermath. Mayor Rudy Giuliani provided us with a prime example of Asset-Based Thinking. He made heroism more important that terrorism. He biased his attention (and the attention of the entire world) in favor of the heroic acts of courage and compassion displayed by firefighters, police, civil servants, and the general public.

Like Giuliani, people everywhere found wats to let their feelings of hope, compassion, and gratitude override their more negative emotions.

By paying more attention to what inspires you and heartens you, you make better decisions and have a bigger positive impact than when you are at the mercy of anxiety or rage.

Let Emotion Reign

Emotions govern our thoughts, decisions, and actions more than we imagine. New findings in the field of neuroscience refute the conventional wisdom that emotions are subservient to rational thought. We’ve all heard the admonition, “Don’t let your decision be clouded by your emotion.” In practical terms this just isn’t possible. Emotions do influence our thoughts. Here’s how the process works.

Negative Emotions -> Set off alarms -> Trigger Deficit-Based Thinking

Positive Emotions -> Release Incentive Indicators -> Trigger Asset-Based Thinking

During 9/11, both sides of the emotional spectrum were at work. Fears and anger provoked DBT scrutiny about what went wrong. Simultaneously, the emotions of compassion, hope, and pride promoted recognition of what went right. We celebrated those who rose to the occasion, and recognized and praised the good in people.

Both emotion channel provide important inputs. When you emphasize positive ABT emotions over negative DBT emotions, your impact come faster and goes deeper.

Remember… emotions reign. Be aware of how you feel. Stack the deck in favour of positive emotions with Asset-Based Thinking, no matter how challenging the circumstances.

LIVE LEGACIES NOW

In his commencement address at Stanford University, Steve Jobs (founder of apple) revealed that he looks in the mirror every morning and asks himself:

“If I die tonight, will I be glad that I did what I am planning to do today? If the answer is ‘No’, I change the plan.”

This questions keeps him on track, clear, and on purpose. It’s not a morbid filter; just the opposite. It is a filter that enriches and inspires him to live his legacy now – before it’s too late.

Leaving a legacy makes your life more meaningful. Living you legacy changes the game. Imagine how invigorating and reassuring it would be to know that what you are doing right now is contributing to your legacy. Imagine how inspired others would be if they saw you building your legacy in the present.

There’s something I know about you that you may or may not know about yourself. You have within you more resources of energy that have been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploted, more strength than has ever been tested, more to give than you have ever given.

JOHN GARDNER

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

• Change other’s minds
• Debate
• Compete
• Prevail

Conventional views of influence: MY INFLUENCE

To be influential is to win over the minds, hearts, spirits, and effort of other people. Conventionally, our view of how to become influential is focused on developing out personal influence skills. Our emphasis is on persuading, convincing, advocationg, and winning the argument so we can get people on our side. While this approach to influencing others is effective, it is not the only approach – and very often not the best.

ABT INSIGHTS

• Change your mind
• Dialogue
• Admire
• Engage

ABT perspective on influence: OUR INFLUENCE

Forming robust networks pf committed relationships is the hallmark of ABT influence. With ABT, influence is mutual and reciprocal. With ABT you put the opinions, desires, interests, and passions of others on a par with your own. You make being influenced as important as being influential.

IT’S NOT JUST WHO YOU KNOW, IT’S HOW YOU KNOW THEM

You’ve often heard the adage “it’s who you know” that matters. Knowing the right people can certainly make a positive difference when it comes to getting into the best colleges or clubs, landing a plum job or a promotion, or scoring a good table at a hot restaurant. Having “good connections” does help make you more influential but it plays only a major role.

INFLUENCE IS A TWO-WAY STREET

Asset-Based Thinking helps you connect with “people in the know” more deeply and authentically. With ABT you embrace the fact that influence is a two-way street by acknowledging the assets you are giving and the assets you are getting in every interaction. This takes your ability to influence – your Influence Quotient - to a whole new level.

YOUR ABT INFLUENCE QUOTIENT

• More people are drawn to you
• You are drawn to more people
• You recognize and celebrate others out loud
• You persuade others and let others persuade you
• Your relationships are mutually rewarding
• Your “circle of influence” multiply

CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE

Expand them by making others the center of your attention:

With Asset-Based Thinking, you realize that how you know another person – how deeply, how respectfully, how truthfully – directly influences how they in turn know you. It spells the difference between fleeting attraction and loyal allegiance. With ABT you instinctively and inquisitively focus on others. You pay attention to how they “show up”. You probe and investigate the minds and hearts of everyone you encounter to get to know them for who they are.

LEAD WITH QUESTIONS, SEARCH FOR ASSETS:

1. What do they value? Believe in?
2. What are they thinking? Feeling?
3. What else do they want? Need? Aspire to?
4. What can I do to recognize them?
5. What can I offer them?
6. How can I serve them?
7. What can they offer to my cause?

Never doubt that a small band of committed citizens can changed the world. It’s the only thing that ever has.

MARGARET MEAD

MAKE ” EYE” – TO – “I” CONTACT

Among the tribes of Northern Natal in South Africa, there is a customary exchange when two peoples pass each other casually on the street:

Greeting – Sawu bona (“I am seen”)

Response - Sikhona (“I am here”)

The simple exchange reflects a profound truth: a person must be “seen” (acknowledged) to be fully present to another. When you truly see with your eyes the “I” of someone’s essence, that person feels valued.

Think of how often you interact with people and never actually look at them. At the dry cleaners, in the coffee shop, passing in the hallway – encounters are fleeting and people go unnoticed. You can, however, use these brief interactions as “practice fields” to hone your ABT skills for those situations that matter most.

Next time, really see the person

Why no benefit from the Natal Tradition of acknowledgement as a more powerful genuine way of greeting that person? Notice what the person is wearing, facial features, expressions, and mannerisms that are attractive and special. Allow yourself to be interested and curious about what there is to like or admire.

Stay open. Go beyond contact to “I” connection.

Recognition is the greatest motivator

GERARD C. EAKEDALE

Turn off the multitasking switch. Be Present

This isn’t easy in today’s world of 24-7 connectivity, text messaging, and Blackberry addictions. When you approach even a casual conversation with the intention of making an “Eye-toI” connection, the other person will almost always reciprocate. Mirroring the level of connection and interest offered is a natural human tendency. This is a basic, hard-wired asset you can count on.

Recent findins in social neuroscience reveal that face-to-face, eye-to-eye connections form a kind of physiological closed feedback loop.

When two people make meaningful, sustained eye contact during a conversation, the neural networks in the occipital frontal cortex (OFC) if each person’s brain begin to fire in synchrony. This is the neuro-physiological equivalent of having a rapport with and genuinely feeling connected to someone. In fact scientists have dubbed the neurons that mimic onr another “mirror neurons.” Your ability to influence increases exponentially when your brain physiology is in sync with another’s.

Socially intelligent leadership starts with being fully present and getting in sync. Once a leader is engaged the full panoply of social intelligence can come into play.

DANIEL GOLEMAN

LISTEN SOFTER

You have most likely heard the statement “Listen harder“. Teachers, parents, coaches, and mentors say this when they want you to pay closer attention and take a message in. You probably say it to yourself sometimes as a wayof focusing and blocking distraction. “Listening harder” implies narrowing your focus into an almost laser-like beam that zeros in on what a person is saying.

A more rewarding form of listening is to “Listen softer.” Soft listening implies showering your attention on someone in a way that illumincates the deeper significance of what is being said. To listen softer you must widen the lens of what catches your attention by listening with your eyes and heart. By listening softer the distance between listener and speaker fades. The soft listener’s awareness dissolves into the other person’s presence and you both hear and feel more.

Be a quick change artist:

In the award-winning off-Broadway play “No Child,” actress Nilaja Sun plays the part of many diverse characters: the school principal, teachers, a janitor, and rebellious teenagers from a public school in the Bronx. Like magic, Sun becomes a pregnant Latina schoolgirl, then fades seamlessly into the 60-year-old arthitic African American janitor, Joe.

She emerges next as a frightened, Russian-immigrant subsittute teacher right before your eyes. For over two hours, Nilaja Sun performs a monologue montage of voices, bodies, and personalities so distict from one another that her feat of becoming each character seems impossible. In rare reviews, Sun is referred to as a “quick change artist.”

Sun does all this by “listening softer.” So softly that she is able to penetrate the heart, mind, body, and soul of each person she portrays. She transcends the boundaries between herself and the other by evaporating the distinctions.

She lets go of who she is in favor of embodying the other.

“No Child” is an amazing example of the degree of empathy that is possible between people when you truly open yourself up.

Feeling the pain, passion, delight, and moods of another creates mutually empathetic feelings of freedom and safety. Each person feels so seen, so known, that no inhibition or hiding is required. Both people show up in full fashion. Resistance evaporates and permission to influence emerges.

GIVE TRUTH THE UPPER HAND

Influence requires truth. Truth deepens and enhances your influence.

Whether circumstances are positive or negative, whether the news is good or bad, people want the truth from you. Truth is often relative. Your “truth” may be different from mine. Remember, the truth is synonymous with your integrity. Once spoken it is powerful and profound.

With truth you can change minds, win confidence, and move people to action. People crave hearing the truth and knowing exactly what they are facing. Truth is the foundation of trust between leaders and followers, husbands and wives, friends and coworkers. Trust founded on the truth means “You can believe me” and “I can believe you.”

Seek not greatness, but seek truth and you will find both

HORACE MANN

Give truth a voice

When you speak the truth about how you feel and what you think, others see you more clearly. The more transparent you are, the more trustwothy and influential you become.

Start by emphasizing the truth about what you admire, like, and value.

Expressing what is truly good is the foundation for truth telling. In fact, when you tell the truth by expressing your appreciation, or celebrating a success out loud, or recognizing outstanding achievements, people become more open and receptive to you. They bask in the glory of your praise. You build trust and your power to influence fastest when you start emphasizing the truth about what you admire, like, and value.

My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.

DESMOND TUTU

EARN A STANDING OVATION

Bill Strickland is the founder of a Philadelphia-based culinary arts program for delinquent, traunt teenage boys. And does he know how to influence an audience! Every time he speaks, he gets a standing ovation (followed by big donations of time and money for his cause).

Why is bill Strickland so moving and motivating? How does he atract and compel people to his mighty causes? His stature? Maybe. (Bill is 6′6″ tall and in great shape.) His story? Sure. (He quit his day job to found his school and reclaim the lives of boys who grew up in his old neighborhood.) His motivation? Absolutely. (He broke the cycle of crime, drugs, and poverty for younder generations.) His sense of humor? Of course. (Like any great entertainer, Bill makes sure that the audience laughs hard.) And, something else… along with the laughs, Bill also helps them feel sadness, pride, surprise.

Assets Exposed = Ovations

Bill’s assets – stature, motivation and sense of humor – are keys to his impact and his ability to get audiences on their feet. They are important , but not enough to command the kind of standing ovations that Bill always gets.

So how does he do it? Bill opens himself up and lets people see his mighty cause in action. His transparency taps into what everyone in the audience desires – to care enough and do enough to make a difference. The exuberance of seeing how bill pursues his mighty cause lights a fire in each member of the audience.

Desire to have impact runs deep

So deep that it is sometimes silent, even asleep, in most people who are living their busy lives. Bill Strickland wakes up that desire. Through Bill, the audience reconnects with their own personal passion to make a positive impact. They rise and applaud what Bill has touched in themselves. That’s right, they are giving themselves a standing ovation.

Standing ovations celebrate the possibilities

Follow Bill Strickland’s lead. Make what you say and do to advance your mighty cause awaken other people’s desire to join you. People long to operate in the domain of what is larger, bigger, more far-reaching than the confines of their everyday life and work. When you tap that deeper stream of desire in those you seek to influence, perople will join you, volunteer their effort, and invest themselves.

Nothing happens by itself. It will all come your way once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions.

BEN STEIN

ADMIRE SOMEONE

What you admire in someone, you have in yourself. It may be only a glimmer, but it is there. In fact, when a person’s talent, virtue, skill, or attitude strikes you as amazing, you can be sure it’s something you want more of. When you embrace this truth you are ready, willing, and able to incorporate the admirable qualities of others into your repertoire of assets.

What you see is what you want to be.

That’s why it’s so important to be on the lookout for how others lead and build followings. How do they:

• Show up
• Influence
• Make their impact

ABT helkps in two imprtant ways. First, it teaches how to scan for what is amazing, incredible and wothwhile about leaders from all walks of life:

• The crossing guard
• The teacher
• The general
• The chef
• The mother
• The conductor
• The valedictorian
• The rabbi or priest
• The quarterback
• The nurse

Next, perhaps most important, you learn how to blend and integrate those qualities in yourself. Your asset inventory then transforms, expands, and deepens.

I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another.

ELLEN GOODMAN

You can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your child’s. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you’ve become yourself.

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

There is a boundary to men’s passions when they act from feelings; but none when they are under the influence of imagination.

EDMUND BURKE

The secret of my influence has always been that it remained secret.

SALVADOR DALI

Don’t be afraid to take a big step. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.

DAVID LLOYD GEORGE

It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people’s lives

CLINT EASTWOOD

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

LOUISA MAY ALCOTT

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM

• Knowledge and Expertise
• Material Wealth
• Authority
• Status and Fame

Conventional views of power: WHAT YOU HAVE

When it comes to power, most people think of accumulating material wealth, status, authority, knowledge, and expertise. These are potent external sources of power. As such, they provide you with control over a vast array of resources – from money , to land, to market share, to intellectual property. While building large reservoirs of external powet may be useful, it is not enough for getting results. There is another source of power equally important and often more vital to your leadership and your success.

ABT INSIGHTS

• Unique talents and strengths
• Passionate pursuits
• Values and beliefs
• Mission and purpose

ABT Perspectives on power: WHO YOU ARE

Instead of relying primarily on external power sources to fuel your progress, look deeply inside for what can move you forward. You have a huge reservoir of internally generated power just waiting to be tapped. Internal sources of power derive from who you are – not what you have. Your internal power is defined by your Signature Presence – your unique combination of passions, capabilities, qualities, values, and beliefs. Signature Presence power gives you what it takes to get results when externally derived power is not enough.

THE WORLD BELONGS TO THOSE WHO SHOW UP

Showing up is a straightforward act, but it’s HOW you show up that makes all the difference…

and that is not as simple as it sounds. Showing up emphatically can feel awkward at first, too bold, even over the top. It takes intention, practice, a bit of bravado. Each of us has to find and develop our own way of “showing up.” The way you show up will influence everything else that follows. Showing up is a powerful asset for making an impact in all aspects of your life.

Just think about all the ways people show up and make their “presence” known. From bursting in the door quietly slipping into the back of the room, from entering with a swagger to blending in, from slipping a note under the door to sending a singing telegram… there is no one way to show up. But there is one right way that’s perfect for you and you alone. Remember, in ABT terms that’s your Signature Presence… once you step into it and step out with it, your impact will grow exponentially.

STAND FOR SOMETHING… IT’S YOUR PERSONAL PLATFORM

Leadership sage Warren Benis once said, “A point of view is worth 50 IQ points.” He knew that when you live by the power of your convictions you stand taller, sit straighter, and speak more confidently. You raise the level of your game. Others know you as “a force of nature” – someone who will not be deterred and who doesn’t give up.

• People crave clarity … your voice rings clear when you stand for something.
• People want wisdom … your mind creates meaning when you stand for something.
• People gravitate toward hope …  your ideas and promises hold sway when you stand for something.

Create personal platforms to advance your important causes and agendas. Each personal platform should reflect the values and passions that underlie your beliefs. Let it declare your point of view … reveal what matters to you … and it will call others to action. Write, speack, and visualize the personal manifesto that bodly expresses where you stand. Don’t be afraid of making “my” and “I” statements.

“I” and “my” are powerful words that communicate and deliver your character and commitment.

 Taking a Stand That Stands the Test of Time

Your Personal Platform:

Once articulate, it gives you solid ground on which to stand. It infuses your opinions and actions. It provides a filter through which to see the personal platforms of others. You know instantly if someone is speaking and acting in consort with deeply held beliefs that mesh with yours. Examples of well-articulated personal platforms abound and surround us.

• Commencement Addresses
• OpED Letters
• Eulogies
• Political Campaigns

Seek Them out. Be Inspired.

Personal Platform Essays:

In 1951, radio pioneer Edward R. Murrow invited Americans from all walks of life to write essays about their most deeply held beliefs. In the aftermath of WWII and the earlier years of the Cold War, Murrow believed that these essays would help people see more deeply into the heart of American values. He was right.

Murrow’s “This I Believe“ essay series transcended all boundaries and barriers and enabled his listeners to rally around a set of shared beliefs.

TAKE YOUR STAND

No matter what your cause, status, or life stages, the act of articulating your Personal Platform releases a rich reservoir of power. For most of us, the crafting process can be intimidating or daunting, but well worth the effort. You will feel more powerful almost immediately. Here are some simple ABT Personal Platform guidelines to help you.

Focus. Be bold.

Select a specific topic that reveals your deeply held beliefs. Create 5 declarations that befin with “I Believe _______ about _______.” Be clear and concrete. Don’t hold back. State your beliefs in vivid, unequivocal terms that will be provocative and motivating.

Remember signature moments.

Reflect on pivotal moments that helped shape your beliefs about your topic. These pivotal moments could be interactions with family members, mentors, or teachers, or insights and emotional awakenings gained by reading about or witnessing events.

Get personal.

Tell personal stories that describe how these beliefs show up in your everyday life. Be specific and sensory. Describe the internal impact of your beliefs on what you say and do and on what others say and do in response.

Write. Edit. Hone.

Articulate your personal platform as an essay or “manifesto.” Use your own words as you would actually speak them. Weave together your “I Believe” statements with your personal story.

Drive it.

Read your Personal Platform out loud. Record it. Play it. Feel it. Believe it.

BE AUTHENTIC BY DEMAND

In everyday paralance, the word “demand” refers to harsh – even coercive – power that insists, pushes, and cajoles. In the language, “demand” has a very different connotation.

From the stage, to have “demand” means to possess the power to captivate and capture the minds and hearts of the audience. An actor with “demand” is so magnetic that the audience cannot resist their gaze, their voice, or their energy.

The actor’s message and meaning are so engaging that the audience is no longer watching the actor perform. Instead, the audience is experiencing the actor’s reality.

The secrest to cultivating the irresistible, magnetic, theatrical brand of demand is to thoroughly embody your message. That’s right – feel your message through your body. Remember, speaking and writing are physical actions. Join forces with your whole body as you would a musical instrument.

Find that soulful place deep inside where the fire in your belly can fuel what you are saying. Finding your voice energizes your message and magnetizes your power.

EXPOSE YOURSELF

When you reveal who you are… your values, passions, regrets, doubts, and dreams… you become authentic, genuine, real. The more transparent you are about your personal experience – the “good” and admirable alongsode the “bad” and embarrassing – the more people will trust you, identify with you, and want to be around you.

You have probably taught to believe that your personal power is bolstered only by the best of who you are and what you have accomplished. Conventional wisdom such as “put your best foot forward,” “show them what you are made of,” and “let them see your good side” is sound advice. However, it is only half the story. Exposing the real, most vulnerable parts of yourself is counterintuitive.

As soon as you start admitting mistakes, it’s natural for confusion and agonizing doubts to creep in. It’s easy for a downward spiral to start.

However, with the right ABT mindset and a little perseverance, you will be able to see right through those doubts. You begin to see that your vulnerabilities are among your most valuable personal assets.

Your shortcomings and flaws actually increase your personal power exponentially when you reveal them for the sake of setting an example, righting a wrong, or accomplishing a greater good.

SPEAK WITH SUBSTANCE, SIZZLE, & SOUL

For most people, speaking is like breathing. We do it naturally. It comes easily. It is necessary and vital to living life. We thrive on conversations and interactions of all types. Speaking becomes exciting, energetic, and a source of power when you place yourself in the “showing up” frame of mind. You then instinctively realize that whenever you speak, you owe it to yourself to do so with purpose. You want to have a certain impact. Speaking in a way that reflects your Signature Presence is one of your most complelling assets and a potent form of power. Learn to use it wisely. Think of that power of speech as a combination of three basic assets.

Asset #1: Substance

The content of WHAT you say (e.g., facts, ideas, formulas, directions, strategies, etc.)

Asset #2: Sizzle

HOW you engage people (e.g. your tone, pauses, volume, resonance, interaction); How you craft what you say (e.g., stories, metaphors, analogies)

Asset #3: Soul

WHO you are (e.g., your passions, desires, aspirations, and values) and WHY your message is important to you.

YOUR 93% ADVANTAGE

Most people spend the majority of their preparation time on the substance of what they want to communicate. Unfortunately substances accounts for about 7% of why people will remember and believe in what you say.

Communication research reveals that the elements of sizzle and soul pack the most power into your impact… on the order of 93%.

People remember what you say when you provide stories with vivid sensory detail (sizzle). People believe you and trust you when they can see that your message is important to you on the deepest level (soul). People assess your integrity and credibility when you speak. Listeners have Geiger counters for authenticity.

When something is worth saying, when the stakes are high, when you want to use yourself and your personal power to your best advantage, remember to include “sizzle” and “soul”. Before you speak, ask yourself these powerful questions:

1. What is my message in one sentence? (Substance)
2. How will I engage? Entertain? Make my message memorable? (Sizzle)
3. Why is this so important to me? Why am I saying what I am saying? (Soul)

As audience members we know if we like the speaker or not in the first 20 seconds. You don not have 5 minutes to warm up. If you have not grabbed the audience before you begin to speak, you have a lot of catching up to do.

GIFFORD BOOTH

MAP YOUR LIFE – LOVE YOUR STORY

The ultimate way to unleash the power of your Signature Presence is to see yourself in action across your lifespan. This gives you a powerful form of self-awareness that helps you bring your whole, best self forward into the present and the future.

When you examine how the episodes and events of your life have unfolded and how key moments have shaped you – your Signature Presence will shine through.

You can discern which forces have shaped you into the unique, talented person you are.

When you scan the phases of your life retrospectively, looking for who and what had the greatest umpact on you, the story of your life begins to tell itself. The story illuminates nuances and subtleties about you that you never noticed while they were happening.

With the benefit of this type of selective attention you can see even the most familiar aspects of your life in a whole new way. Your story crafts itself from the memories and imaginations of your Signature Experiences – experiences that engraved themselves in you. Your story is like a mirror and an X-ray at the same time.

It reflects who you are as a whole person and feature by feature as well

Examining the story of your life “up to the moment” illuminates the foundation of your purpose, passion, and potential. It gives you laser vision into the unique core of who you are and what you were “born to do”.

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pale in comparison to what lies inside of you

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

From Reactive to Proactive

Calling yourself to action means being proactive. In the face of relentless barrage of daily demands, being proactive is not that easy. In fact, if you are like most people you operate in a reactive mode – consumed by deadlines at work, family obligations, household chores, and unexpected mishaps. You wake up feeling overwhelmed by what is urgent. You are busier than ever, but just barely able to keep up. Days, months, years fly by and you are left wondering, “where did the time go?”, “what have I accomplished?”, “whose tune I am marching to?”

With Asset-Based Thinking, life doesnt have to be a 24-7 treadmill. When you change the way you see yourself, you treat your personal priorities with the same level of importance as you do external demands. You set your sights on what you have to contribute, on what you want to make happen, on how you want to lead and inspire others.

Asset-Based Thinking helps you navigate through the ups and downs by letting your purpose and passions guide the way. Your life becomes an adventure of your own making. You put yourself in the driver’s seat. You decide the destinations. You use surprise, serendipity, and even setbacks to make the journey more interesting and more worthwhile. You are more condifent in who you are, where you are going, and how to get there. That is what Change The Way You See Yourself is all about.

UNLEASH YOUR POWER: IT’s THE FOUNDATION

The first step to being proactive, is to tap into your deepest reservoirs of personal power. Personal power comes from leveraging the assets that make you, “you”. Like everyone, you have a unique combination of talents that inspire others and make you effective under almost any circumstane. One secret to unleashing personal power is to know which of your strengths and capabilities have made lasting, positive impressions and impacts.

In ABT terms, the unique set of assets that makes you stand out is your Signature Presence. When you step into your Signature Presence, you are the most authentic, compelling person you can be, You embody your beliefs. You allow your passion to shine through everything you say and do. Your Signature Presence powers your ability to lead others and to get exponentially better results. No matter what challenges come your way, your Signature Presence power will ensure you meet them.

EXPAND YOUR INFLUENCE: YOU CAN’T GET THERE ALONE

Putting yourself in the driver’s seat doesn’t mean you’ll be traveling alone. Because you know where you are going, others with similar visions will want to join you. There will be people in your front seat, people riding in the backseat, and a whole caravan following close behind. People you have known for years, and some you have just met, will get on board.

As an Asset-Based Thinker, your job is to know your traveling companions as well as you know yourself. What makes each person tick? What does each one dream about? Most deeply desire? What kind of assets does each person bring to the adventure? Answering these questions helps you establish deep, rewarding relationships that form robust circles of influence.

Often you will ask, “who else wants to drive for a while?”, “what side trips so you want to take?” As you invite others to navigate with you, the adventure becomes more exciting, more motivating, more energizing for everyone involved. All of a sudden it’s not just my adventure, it’s our adventure. You have attracted others to your cause. You have expanded the breadth and depth of your influence. With ABT you take your ability to be influential to a whole new level.

MAXIMIZE YOUR IMPACT: DISCOVER YOUR INTERNAL PRIORITIES FIRST

Instead of being preoccupied with scanning the external world for what needs mastering or fixing, take a good, long look inside… see beyond your roles, responsibilities, and obligations. Focus on the visions of what you want to make happen.

Reflect on:

• Your deepest desires and longing
• Your sense of purpose
• Your passions
• Your “what ifs”
• Your dreams

Zoom in on the kind of impact – the unique, talented you – want to make. Think of these aims as your Signature Impacts. The impacts that have your name on them and call you to action.

The visions that mean the most to you give you insight into your mighty cause. In ABT terms, your mighty cause is the one you were born to serve. This is your deepest source of inspiration, and the one that gives you the best chance of maximizing your impact.

YOUR MIGHTY CAUSE: IT’S YOUR REASON FOR BEING

To lead a significant life, you have to dedicate yourself to a mighty cayse – the one you feel born to serve. Calling yourself to action in service of a worthy cause gives meaning to your life. Once you commit yourself you get an automatic boost. Being alive doesn’t get any better than this.

So, why do so many of us:

• Sell ourselves short?
• Limit our aims?
• Lose sight of our impact?
• Quit too soon?
• Let our dreams fade?

All too often we hold ourselves back because we are intimidated by the depth and breadth of worthwhile causes that loom large on the big stage of life.

With ABT, the pursuit of your noble cause does not have to deflate or defeat you. It can be your lifeblood. It can wake you up, inspire you, and make you a better person – more competent, more fulfilled. When you call yourself to action in this way, others instinctively want to join you.

This is the true joy in life,

the being used for a purpose you consider a mighty one,

the being a force of nature,

rather than a feverish, selfish clod of ailments and grievances

complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

GEORGE BERNHARD SHAW

What ABT is:

Asset-Based Thinking is a way of viewing reality. Asset-Based Thinkers embrace the positive side of life and free themselves of the deficit-based negative side (DBT). ABT reveals hoe even the slightest shifts in your thinking can lead to seismic differences.

How ABT works:

ABT is looking at yourself and the world through the eyes of what’s working and your present strengths and potentials.

• blocks out distractions
• create a focal point of concentration and high mental energy centered on assets
• keeps you alert and inspired until you have maximized all there is to gain.

ABT FOCUS

• What you want
• What you have
• What is possible
• What you can do
• What is working
• Who is with you
• What is propelling you forward
• What you stand to gain
• Your achievements

Asset-Based Thinker’s S.O.S

Self “S”

Reminds you to look within yourself for your talents and strengths that are most useful in any circumstance.

Others “O”

Refers to your focus on the strengths and talents of others, and the positive qualities in your relationships (such as trust, respect, collaboration).

Situations “S”

Stands for the assets unherent in any situation. Good experiences naturally provide assets such as stimulation, opportunity, and synergy. But even unwelcome situations contain umportant assets such as vital new perspectives and life lessons.

  Adventure is not outside man; it is within.

DAVID GRAYSON

Things are kind of boring these days
And lately even my love life isn’t going well
There’s so many things I want to do
But if I leave it too late, I’ll miss out

Ah, life would surely
Be boring
If only good things happened
Well, I need to hurry up
I’m still tired, but I’m going to be late
I have a shower and put on my makeup
And stuff some bread and raspberry jam in my mouth
I always make it in time if I dash

Wake me up, morning sun
Wake up my tired body
Even though the whole town seems to be strangers
I can make friends with them
Someday growin’ up, I want to like myself more
The way I am
The new morning sets the town in motion
I’m gonna say goodbye to my bleary, vitamin-deficient face!

I’m going to regain the summer I was too late for
Before the nights get shorter
If I like you, I’ve gotta make a move
No miracles will happen if I just wait around

I’ve been strong all my life
Never afraid of losing anything
Cheer up
It’s not like me to be down
From tomorrow I’ll start getting up early
And stop skipping out on my diet
I want to make you look my way someday

Wake me up, dawning sky
The world is spinning as usual today
I want to engrave this moment into my heart
I want to feel that I’m alive
Someday growin’ up, I want to tell you
About this love I can’t talk about
I don’t want to give up, even if my dreams are far away
Until the day when this lust turns to love

Where do people come from, and where do they go?
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts
Breaking up and meeting people again and again
I’ve woken up to myself, wake me up

Good morning
Wake me up, bright sun
Make my sinking heart sparkle
Even though the whole town seems to be strangers
I can make friends with them
Someday growin’ up, I want to like myself more
The way I am
The new morning sets the town in motion
I’ll always believe in tomorrow
I won’t cry anymore
Gonna keep on growin’ up

It’s your job as an advisor to make sure that you are there—and active—during all these phases.

Retirement is a moving target that defies a singular definition because it will be different for each client. However, planning for this event occurs continuously throughout the client’s financial life-cycle and usually has five phases. It’s your job as an advisor to make sure that you are there—and active—during all of these phases. Let’s take a look at each.

1. The savings phase: This starts as soon as possible after the client’s career begins. During that time, he will be preoccupied with other competing savings objectives, such as buying a home and dealing with family-building expenses. Your role is to motivate him to save for retirement, educating him about the importance of starting early. Establishing good retirement-savings habits despite the lure of short-term goals is essential to retirement security because of the miracle of compound interest.

During this period, a client may change jobs, and your role is to make sure that retirement savings are not cannibalized for other uses. Rollovers, tax-free transfers from one tax-qualified vehicle (an employer plan, for example) to another (an IRA, for example) can be a key service you provide.

2. The increased preparation and visualization phase: This phase cannot be identified with a particular age, but it involves your client kicking his retirement planning into high gear. Often, he sees his parents’ retirement and realizes he wants to emulate the positive and not repeat the negative. In the “increased-preparation” part of this phase, it’s your client who sees the need to increase 401(k) contributions or make paying off the house mortgage before retirement a priority. At this point, you should use retirement-income projections and expense calculators to identify the amount your client needs to save to fill the income gap during retirement.

In the “visualization” part of this phase, your client becomes even more focused. Your client may begin to understand that limiting expenses can be just as important a goal as increasing savings. You might suggest that your client save all the raises that he earns in the five or six years prior to retirement. By putting those salary increases into a 401(k), Roth IRA or a traditional IRA, he will not only save more for retirement, he will also lock in spending habits and learn not to grow his lifestyle and budget—an important lesson for retirement.

3. The decision phase: This phase is often characterized by the imminent event of retirement. The year before, the year of and the year after retirement bring many planning choices and challenges. A client may grow tired of his career, and may consider retiring because his children have completed college or he has received an inheritance, for example. On other occasion, age may drive the decision to retire. You should educate your client, however, that health and money are more accurate drivers of the retirement decision.

During the decision phase, you should counsel your client on a variety of issues such as pension distributions, when to start receiving Social Security retirement benefits and how to convert assets into retirement income.

4. The retirement transition and lifestyle phase: This phase follows immediately after retirement. It is often accompanied by increased spending on travel and other recreational pursuits and a focus on adapting to a changed environment. Travel, golf, gardening and volunteer work often occupy your client’s calendar.

Once your client has settled into retirement, you must help him adjust his spending accordingly. As time passes, the nature of the client’s environment also changes. Friends and family may die or move away. At this point, you may need to help him whether or not to move near family members or to a continuing-care retirement community. From a financial perspective, clients become more asset rich and income poor. You must be ready to help with the psychological and emotional needs that accompany these changes. The client-advisor relationship goes beyond financial solutions during the transition phase.

5. The frailty phase: Again, this phase does not depend on any specific age, but is marked by dealing with health issues, care-giving for a spouse and the loss of mobility. A client in this phase tends to become lonelier and more dependent on others. Proximity to medical services and community services becomes more important.

You can assist your client by directing him to the appropriate social services. It is also rewarding to know that your counsel has helped your client have sufficient resources during retirement. Financial independence can soften the loss of physical independence.

For more information on this topic, consider taking the LUTC/FSS course FA 261: Foundations of Retirement Planning through The American College.

Richard Dulisse, CLU, ChFC, CFP, CASL, a member of NAIFA-Greater Philadelphia, is an LUTC author and editor, and assistant professor of financial planning at The American College.

Article extracted from http://www.advisortoday.com/200805/5retirementphases.html on 6 June 09

I am very happy how things have happened lately. No more sad things. Only productive activities.

Lesser procrastination. More discipline.

Lesser doubt. More focus.

With focus, I believe I will do it.

No longer saying, tomorrow will be a better day.

Say this

Today is a better day!

The day did not have a fantastic start.

It was greeted by a series of wake up calls and many comments that could be done without easily. What would create noises in a group of we-thought-good-working partners?

Miscommunication. Taking things for granted. Procrastination. Lateness. No Activeness.

What else?

Disappointed with how the day started. Glad at how the day ended.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being.

She said, “Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.

“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.”

“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. “You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!”

“There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.”

“Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

Story quoted from http://www.inspireme.net/inspirational-stories/dreams.htm